


Mama's Mad

by wandering_gypsy_feet



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Pogues (Outer Banks)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25474285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandering_gypsy_feet/pseuds/wandering_gypsy_feet
Summary: The seven times JJ made Mama mad and the one time he didn't.Inspired by the line in episode 9 and the relationship between JJ and Kiara.
Relationships: JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks), Sarah Cameron/John B. Routledge
Comments: 20
Kudos: 108





	Mama's Mad

**Author's Note:**

> hey guess what i'm obsessed with the pogues and the fact that JJ and Kie really should be together, or at the very least, make a hell of an interesting couple. 
> 
> anyways based on the extremely vague timelines we've been given from the show, I'm going to guesstimate that Kiara became friends with her boys in seventh/eighth grade, before spending ninth grade at the kook academy and subsequently returning to them the summer after that.

**The first time JJ makes Kiara mad.**

"Don't say it," Kiara warns him. "Do not." 

"Do what?" JJ has such an innocent look on his face, you'd think he was as sweet as pie. Kiara knows better.

"Say the stupid thing you're about to say." 

"And what's that?" he still feigns obliviousness. 

"Something about how I can surf pretty well. For a girl." 

"But you can surf pretty well for a girl," he declares and then ducks the slap she aims at him. "I'm kidding! Kidding, Kie!" 

"I can surf well, period. By any gender's standard," she corrects him, then paddles into the next wave to prove it. 

She's not sure when she fell into the routine of surfing with these guys on the weekend. And by these guys, she means John B, Pope, and unfortunately, JJ. But they're the only ones who actually surf to surf, not to look good or for clout. They're the only ones Kiara has to keep up with, rather than the other way around. 

And they're pogues, not kooks. Which means they don't look down on her for having a dad who makes money by having a restaurant, not a real estate company or a development company or a financial company or whatever else. Heck, they're just impressed that she brings them snacks. Easy to please. 

But surfing together on the weekends led to hanging out in the evenings afterwards which led to saying hi to them on Mondays which led to sitting by them at lunch which led to hanging out after school which brings them here. To having three best friends she's not quite sure when or how she's acquired. Just that they are hers. 

"Yeah Kie!" John B calls as she carves the wave. She grins at him and then laughs when Pope crashes into the water. They surf until the sun starts to go down and then head to the beach, breaking out the snacks Kiara's brought and sitting in the sand, bickering. 

"Hey, guess what." JJ's eyes are dancing with mischief, the kind that makes her nervous. 

"What?" Pope is sorting out his fruit snacks by color. 

"Finally got my cousin to sell to me." JJ produces what seems to be a cigarette, except with brown wrapping. Pope freezes, about to place a purple grape fruit snack amongst it's fellows. John B leans forward, anticipation on his face. Kiara looks around at them, bewildered. 

"Sell you what?" she asks slowly and JJ glances at her, grinning. 

"Weed, Kie." 

"Oh." she sits back, eyes wide. 

All she's ever been taught or told is that drugs are bad. Drugs are to be avoided. Drugs are scary, drugs are done by bad kids, drugs are what will ruin your life. But JJ isn't a bad kid. Wild, yeah, but not bad. And John B and Pope are good kids. 

"Here, hold this." JJ hands it to John B, who inspects it curiously. 

"Should we have that?" she asks them, glancing around like the cops are going to swoop down on them. "That's illegal, JJ."

"Gonna call me in Kie?" he flashes a grin at her. "Mama's mad I brought drugs?" 

"No!" she flares up, angry, but no one seems to care. 

"I'm not smoking that," Pope declares and Kiara glances at him. 

"Fine. More for us." JJ is digging around in his bag while John B goes to sit beside him. Pope looks at her imploringly, like she's going to be the one who talks them out of this, but she avoids his gaze. Instead she watches as JJ pulls out a lighter and flicks it at the end of the joint, a glowing ember appearing. 

He takes a long drag, coughing slightly and trying to suppress it. John B laughs and takes it from him, but he too ends up coughing. The smoke smells bad; Kiara wrinkles her nose. The boys pass it back and forth a few times, then JJ turns and offers it to her. 

Kiara holds very still, thinking about her dad's disappointed face. Her mom's anger. She can see Pope, shaking his head, worry in his eyes. But then she looks at JJ, with his big blue eyes. He raises his lips in a tiny smirk and so she reaches out, takes the joint, and inhales, trying her damndest not to choke on the smoke and managing, successfully, to do so. 

"Damn girl." JJ looks at her, impressed. She hands it back to him, trying to look cool, ignoring the way Pope seems disappointed. 

"You know Kie, that was kinda sexy," John B tells her, leaning against a log. She kicks sand at him, then lays back, heart racing, thinking about what she's done. 

Turns out, not much. Gradually, a floating sensation comes over her. She watches, fascinated, as the stars above her wink in and out, like she and the universe are in together on some great cosmic joke. She smiles, feeling the softness of the sand beneath her, tiny little things combined into one whole. It seems profound. 

Beside her, Pope is laughing at the stupid shit that JJ and John B are saying. They seem to be laughing more than usual, their jokes somehow even more stupid. And it feels like the whole world is right, comfortable, happy. 

Or maybe it's just her.

* * *

**The second time JJ makes Kiara mad**

"Kiki.... do you love me.... are you riding....." 

The words drift back to Kiara's ears from the front of the boat. She grimaces but continues braiding the bracelet she's working on, one string under, then over, then through, then tighten, then repeat. And all the while, JJ keeps singing the song lyrics, over and over again. 

"Kiki.... do you love me....." 

"Is he ever going to stop?" she asks finally, from between gritted teeth and John B glances up, grinning at her. 

"No. He knows it annoys you, that's all the more reason for him to keep doing it." 

"I feel like this song came out ten years ago, I've heard it so much this summer," Pope complains, closing his book. "There's only so many times I can handle Drake from a white boy's mouth." 

"Then make him stop," Kiara hisses and the singing from the front increases in volume.

"KIKI - DO YOU LOVE ME - ARE YOU RIDING -"

"At least make it to the second verse," John B tries to reason and JJ turns his back on them, tossing his line into the water, now humming. 

"How long is this going to go on?" Kiara asks the other two boys, who exchange glances. 

"Kid holds a grudge better than anyone I know," Pope admits and John B nods. 

"He's still mad about the time in fifth grade when I puked all over his new shoes. I had the flu!" 

"Gross." Kiara gives him a one handed shove. "Look, I've said sorry about a million times. And I'm never going to hang out with those Kook assholes ever again. So what else do I have to do to get him to stop singing that fucking song?" 

"Let it go, Kiki." John B manages to duck her punch. 

"That is not my nickname," she says hotly and he shrugs. 

"Whatever you say, Kiki." 

"Stop," she warns him. 

"What, we can't call you Kie anymore?" Pope asks innocently. "Kiki isn't that different." 

"Quit." she sets the bracelet aside and glares at both of them. "Seriously." 

"KIKI - DO YOU LOVE ME --" 

This time, both John B and Pope join in, a trio of badly off key voices. 

"ARE YOU RIDING - SAY YOU'LL NEVER EVER LEAVE FROM BESIDE ME --"

Kiara can't take it anymore, so she takes the most dramatic action she can think of. With a cry, she runs to the front of the boat, right towards JJ. She sees his blue eyes widen in surprise, sees his lips start to form a perfect 'O' and then she's caught him around his waist and they both go flying, suspended in the air for the briefest of seconds before they crash into the water, a tangle of limbs. 

She kicks JJ when she comes up for air, but that's an honest to god accident. He appears, spluttering, a second after she does and there is absolute silence. John B and Pope are standing in the boat, watching them apprehensively, and JJ just watches her for a second, face blank. 

Is he ever going to forgive her for the months she spent as a Kook? Even now, though she's come crawling back to them, JJ still treats her like he expects her to sneer and look down on him. Even though she's told them all, time and time again, that she'll never change, that she's a pogue just like them, even though John B and Pope seem to have embraced her once again, JJ hasn't.

"Mama's mad," he remarks and his face splits into a shit eating grin and Kiara wants to cry with happiness because she knows this means he isn't all that mad at her, really, and so she splashes water at his face and laughs, relief flooding through her every vein.

"Stop singing that fucking song then." they both begin swimming back for the boat. 

"It's catchy. And it has your name in it." JJ lets her go up the ladder first, then groans and holds his ribs. "Christ, Kie, where'd you learn to tackle like that? I feel like I got hit by a freight train." 

"Way to save the pole though." John B has picked it up and is fishing with it. 

"Yeah, wish I could say the same for my hat." he peers over the edge. "Kie, that was a family heirloom." 

"You found that in a ditch last summer. You never even washed it," Pope reminds him and Kiara sits back, grinning to herself. This is it. The sound of her boys bickering, the hot summer sun drying her hair, the smell of the ocean and the fish John B pulls up, it's home to her. And now JJ will look at her and smile. Everything is back to normal. 

When the sun finally begins to set, they decide to head back in. Kiara goes to JJ's side, holding the now finished bracelet. He offers her his wrist without looking at her, still arguing with John B about the best way to fry fish. She ties it tightly, knotting it with her teeth and then steps back, satisfied with her work. For his part, JJ doesn't say a word. 

But she sees the smile. 

* * *

**The third time JJ makes Kiara mad**

Kiara can hear them whispering behind her. 

"Are you going to do something?" 

"Me? Why me?" 

"Someone has to!" 

"Yeah, but like, why me?" 

"Can you two - stop, please - can you two just - fuck - do something!" 

Usually it'd make her laugh. The inability for them to organize and take action if she's not there to hold hands. But she's way too drunk and way too mad at them to find any of this amusing. So she keeps dancing, swinging her hips in time to the music, enjoying the feeling of hands on her waist. 

"Kie." Pope tries first. He comes in front of her, trying to take her hands. "Hey, Kie, c'mere." 

"Leave me alone Pope." she gives him a shove and keeps dancing; whoever is behind her (and it doesn't matter at all who it is) chuckles. Pope tries again but she smacks his hand away and then he disappears. She smirks. One down. Two to go. 

"Kiara." John B tries next. He manages to catch her hands, but then she pulls them from his grasp. "Can we just, like, talk for a second?" 

"Fuck. Off," she tells him loudly and he sighs. 

"Please, just like, come with me." 

"No." she keeps dancing, she keeps drinking, she keeps ignoring any attempt to have her do differently. John B keeps trying, but eventually he too gives up and disappears. Two down then, one to go. She turns to the form behind her - she still doesn't know who it is, but does it matter? - and kisses him, noting hazily that it's way too sloppy and pretty unenjoyable honestly.

When she turns around, it's JJ who stands in front of her. She opens her mouth, ready to issue a challenge or a taunt, but then that notion flies out of her head. JJ has ducked down and grabbed her around the thighs, tossing her with ease over his shoulder and striding away.

It takes her a few seconds to get her bearings back, considering she's now a sack of potatoes and JJ is treating her with the same regard. Her drink is drying in the sand and her partner, whoever he was, is disappearing as JJ carries her down the beach, until he unceremoniously drops her onto the damp sand. 

"What the fuck?" she throws her empty cup at him, rubbing her hipbones and trying to resist the urge to throw up. 

"I should be asking you that," he remarks, unbothered as always by her anger. "Macking on some random touron? That's not you Kie." 

"That's such a fucking double standard!" she stumbles to her feet, a lot less graceful than she'd like to be. "So you guys get to but I don't?" 

"It's different." 

"Because I'm a girl?" she gets up in his face, but for once, he doesn't rise to the challenge. If anything, he seems.... amused? 

"Mama's mad," he remarks, grinning. "Nah, Kie, because you're better than that. Better than us." 

"Is that why you called me a Kook earlier?" she demands, coming back to the hurt that started this whole night off. JJ bites his lip and looks away. "I thought you forgave me for all that." 

"I have," he assures her, catching her hand. It hangs there, both of them refusing to acknowledge it. "But, just, seeing you at the Kook Christmas party, all those people, having to work it and you're just in the middle of it...."

"I only went because of my parents!" she says hotly. 

"I know," he talks over her anger. "I know, I know Kie! And - fuck - I'm sorry I said you're a Kook. You're not. Okay? But you don't have to get drunk and do dumb shit with a tourist to prove that to me, okay?" his blue eyes search her face. "Okay?" 

"You're an ass," she whispers and he grins. 

"Yeah, but I'm your ass." 

"Do you have to be?" she jokes weakly and he slings his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in as they walk back towards the fire. 

"That's the thing about being a pogue Kie, it's for life. And we come with it." 

"Yeah, yeah." she gives him a little shove, not enough to actually push him away. "I'm surprised you're not daring people to go in the water or some shit." 

"Me?" he pretends to be shocked. "Kie, when would I ever be the one advocating for such stupidity?" 

"Hey." a guy walks up to them and she guesses, from the way JJ's arm tenses, it's the kid she'd been dancing with before. "We, uh, gonna...." 

"Nope." JJ has the audacity to laugh, right in his face. "Sorry bud. She's hanging with me." 

"I thought...." the kid looks between them and Kiara has to admit, it's nice for once to be tucked into JJ's side. 

"Well that was your first mistake." then JJ steers her away and back to where John B and Pope look relieved to see her. 

She spends the rest of the night beside JJ and he doesn't leave her, not even to go talk to a few girls throwing him desperate looks. She doesn't hate it. 

* * *

**The fourth time JJ makes Kiara mad**

"--and the most pollution comes from major companies and organizations. The 1% are doing, like, 90% of the damage. How insane is that?" Kiara takes another drag from the joint, before continuing on her rant. "And that's not to say how incredibly fucking damaging capitalism is to the ecosystems. I mean, name one environment that's made better by big business. Fracking? Commercial fishing? The destruction of the rainforest to produce fucking palm oil?" 

"Kie." JJ puts a hand on her shoulder. "You're going to scare the poor kid." 

"Get off." she shrugs him off but looks and has to admit, the boy across from her looks a little shell shocked. Good. They need to wake people up to the harm being done to the only planet they have! 

"Here you go my man." JJ hands him a solo cup. "Take this to the keg, tell the kid it's on JJ, he'll fill you up." 

"Shit, thanks." the kid scrambles to go and JJ takes his place in the sand as Kiara rolls her eyes. 

"Not everyone has the goal of getting laid, you know," she tells him a bit spitefully and he scoops up a handful of sand, letting it run through his fingers. 

"Kie, it's his vacation. Let him have a good time without ranting at him about the evils of the global cabal, okay?" 

"And what, so we can all go on obliviously polluting and contaminating the one place we have to live?" she gestures broadly around them. "You know I'm going to spend hours tomorrow morning cleaning all this trash up off the beach!" 

"Yeah, and you know I'm going to be right there doing it with you," he mutters and she scoffs. 

"Yeah, if you're strong enough to roll out of bed with that hangover and leave behind whatever girl you took home."

"Can you like, not get on your high horse for one fucking minute?" he complains and her jaw drops, affronted. 

"Excuse me?" she demands hotly. 

"Ah, fuck, mama's mad," he remarks and she throws a handful of sand at him. He shouts, trying to cover his drink.

"What the fuck does that mean, JJ?" 

"It means walk the fucking talk, Kie," he retorts. "Like, you talk all this shit about sustainability but you're out here buying new swimsuits from companies that use slave labor and you eat Cheetos out of a plastic bag like the rest of us and you put gas in your car and your boat and all the other shit. And besides, you're rich. I mean, I know you're a multi racial woman, so like you have that against you, but the real people who are going to be hurt by climate change are the poor people. Living sustainably isn't like, a fun lifestyle for some of us. We don't shop from thrift stores because it's trendy, it's because it's all we can afford. So like, keep that in mind." 

Kiara stares at him, all her anger ebbing away. JJ is looking out over the horizon, jaw set, drink still clutched in his hand. She has a hundred things she wants to ask him, but she settles for the most obvious one. 

"Where'd you learn about all of that?" 

"Well, it's something you're interested in." he looks supremely uncomfortable now. "So I looked into it some. Just.... So I knew what you were talking about." 

She's stunned speechless. Her first thought is how sweet it is - when has she ever researched any of JJ's hobbies that don't overlap with her own interest? Then there's a little bit of shame, since he makes such a good point. And she, Kiara, the one who is so proud of her intersectional feminism and her stalwart insistence of being a pogue, should have thought deeper about this. And guilt, because she forgets sometimes that JJ has to fight for every little thing. 

"Hey." she reaches across the distance for him. JJ, once he's sure she's not going to sabotage his drink, takes her hand. "Sorry. You're right. I can get on my high horse sometimes. I just, I see so many people not caring. And I don't want to yell at the people that do." 

"Yeah, yeah." he tries to shrug off the touching moment, wary of emotion as always. "I'm just here to knock you down a peg or two. I should go do the same thing for Pope." 

"It was really sweet of you," she tries to tell him but he's waving a hand and walking back towards the party. "JJ!" 

But he's already gone and so she finishes off the joint, staring out at the ocean and pondering some things. Like the fact that JJ, who abhors school, will do anything to avoid learning, and frequently dismisses things of importance in favor of goofing off, has taken the time to look into this for her. Because of her. 

She never knows what to make of this kid. 

* * *

**The fifth time JJ makes Kiara mad**

"JJ, don't." Kiara tries to grab the bottle from him and misses as he spins away from her. Vodka splatters, but the majority of it finds its way into his mouth, to her dismay. 

"Chug, chug, chug," people are chanting behind them and she watches, helplessly, as he finishes off the bottle and then throws it amongst the cheering crowd. 

"Will you please drink water?" she demands and he waves a hand, nearly slipping on the sticky and damp floor. 

"Would you stop smothering me?" he taunts and she takes a step back, like she's been struck. "Just cause I don't have a mother doesn't mean I need one, Kie." 

"Fine." stung, she turns her back on him and goes back to the party, where Pope is playing cards with a few friends and shamelessly hustling them. She sits beside him, brooding. 

Usually she doesn't care when JJ gets self destructive. Why should she? She prevents the bare minimum. But lately he's been different. Wilder. In a way that scares her, makes her think that he's going to do something truly stupid. And then it's on her. 

John B and Pope will blame her, even if they don't mean to. Because they always look to her to tell them when they're going too far. And she would blame herself, because she cares so much about these boys and they are her responsibility even though she's just a kid like them and they should be in charge of their own decisions and stupid choices but.... If something happens to JJ, anything, she won't be able to live with herself after. She just wouldn't. 

She keeps glancing over her shoulder. Everyone here in a local, most of them pogues, some of them the lower end of Kooks. Everyone laughing, having a good time, and JJ just over there, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling....

"You good?" Pope asks as he shuffles and she nods. "You want to be dealt in?" she shakes her head and he watches her for a second longer then deals, turning back to his friends. She sits there, curled up on the couch, until she hears the roar of the dirt bike engine. She bolts up and is out the door before Pope even has time to look up. 

There, in the middle of the driveway, is JJ on the bike, revving the engine to a crowd of screaming and laughing girls. She fights her way through them to get to his side, trying to get his attention, shouting his name over the roar. Finally he looks up and sees her. 

"Ah, mama's mad!" 

"You're not okay to drive!" she yells at him and he shakes his hair out of his eyes. 

"Says who, Kie?" 

"Says me!" she stands in front of the bike, desperate. "JJ, don't. Please. Don't." 

"He's fine!" someone shouts and she doesn't look back to see who it is, just watching JJ in horror. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. And I told you, I don't need a mom." with that, JJ gives another rev and takes off, gravel flying behind him. Kiara moves aside, watching with mute terror as he rides around the yard, egged on by a bunch of drunk teenagers. She thinks she should run inside - get Pope, get John B, get anyone - but fear has her frozen to the spot. 

The first few passes are okay. But then he gets brave, or cocky, or a combination of both, and he pulls it up into a wheelie, once, two, three times. And then he tries to jump the driveway. And she sees - in slow motion - that he's going to crash before he does. 

A spray of gravel. The abrupt loss of the engine noise. A collective groan from the crowd. And that breaks Kiara's spell and she takes off running for him, towards the wreck that is JJ, her heart in her throat. She grabs the bike and tries to pull it off him, squinting in the darkness to see if there's blood, if he's still in one piece, if he's moving....

"Oh, fuck," she whispers, once she sees the damage. He's bleeding from a fairly large cut on his leg, but that's not the most alarming thing. He's got blood gushing down his face, over his eyes and cheeks. "JJ! JJ! Say something!" 

"Ouch," he mumbles and Kiara manages to get the bike off of him. By now, other people are helping, pulling the bike away as she kneels beside him. 

"Do not move your head," she tells him firmly, trying to remember all the first aid she's taken and her lifeguard training. "Can you move your fingers and toes?" 

"Ow," he remarks but does it and she exhales. 

"Should we call an ambulance?" someone asks behind her and JJ waves a hand. 

"No, we'll get in trouble," someone else answers and the first voice gives a little scoff. 

"I'm pretty sure we're in more trouble if he dies!" 

"He's not going to die, head wounds just bleed a lot. Go get me towels - clean ones! - and some rubbing alcohol," Kiara commands and by now, Pope and John B have arrived. 

"Holy fuck, dude." John B looks a bit queasy, but Pope on the other hand looks intrigued. 

"I need light," Kiara tells them and a few seconds later, several phone lights appear around her, shining down on JJ's blood. She sucks in a breath to see the amount of gravel in his leg. "Can you make it inside?" 

"We can carry him," John B answers and then he and Pope are both under JJ's armpits and lifting him, carrying him to the bathroom where Kiara gets her first aid supplies. 

First she tends to the head wound. It's not deep, but it will scar. Right below JJ's hairline. It could be worse. She cleans the blood up and wraps it, then turns her attention to his leg. JJ has his eyes shut and fists clenched. She turns to Pope and John B, biting her lip. They both clearly know what has to happen and so Pope goes to JJ's shoulders and John B goes to his feet. 

"This isn't going to be fun, but it has to happen, okay?" she tells JJ, who groans. Then she gets out the tweezers and the rubbing alcohol. After they tighten their grip on JJ she takes a deep breath and pours the alcohol over the wound, ignoring JJ's muffled screech of pain. Then she begins to pull the rocks out, one by one. 

They take a break halfway through for JJ to chug some whiskey; Kiara disapproves but if that's what it will take to get him to lay still so she can finish, then by all means. She uses up the entire bottle of rubbing alcohol and a roll of gauze, but by the end of it, JJ's wounds are cleaned and wrapped and the kid himself is laying on the couch, passed out. 

She notices her hands only start to shake when she's done tending to him. 

"Way to go Doctor Kiara," Pope tells her, clapping her on the shoulder as she washes her hands of blood.

"I shouldn't have to do that shit," she says furiously. "I told him not to get on that fucking bike, he was too drunk." 

"You ever think that he only does dumb shit because he knows you'll be there to cover for his dumb ass?" Pope asks her carefully and she glares at him. 

"Are you saying I enable him?" 

"No." Pope puts his hands up. "He makes his own stupid choices. You're not responsible. Just.... He doesn't do dumb stuff if you're not here. I guess.... He trusts you." 

"Well, I want him to trust me less," she says tartly. But there's something in her that's touched. 

The next morning, JJ is careful not to even flinch around her. But she sees him wince when he thinks she's not looking. And he puts the dirt bike back in the shed and doesn't say a word about it. She maintains her anger with him through lunchtime; then she drops it and even checks his bandages to make sure that he's not getting an infection. 

And if she notices when he whispers a _'thank you'_ , she pretends not to. 

* * *

**The sixth time JJ makes Kiara mad**

Oh, she is mad at him. All that money, gone. For what? For a freaking hot tub? How did he even get this all delivered this fast? How did he get all this setup? They weren't even gone that long! She wants to keep yelling, but then JJ stands up and she falls silent.

"Okay, well, you know what? I didn't do that! I got a hot tub!"

Bruises cover his entire torso. _Oh, JJ._

  
"For my friends. I got a hot tub for my friends." 

She thinks of the split lip, the bruises she's seen since they were younger, the jokes about being clumsy, surfing accidents, wrestling on the boat, fights with other kids. But it's more than that. Oh, stupid, stubborn, honorable JJ.

"You know what?" his voice catches. "No, you know what? Screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family!" 

Why hasn't he ever told anyone? Why does he have to bottle everything up, act tough, hide everything, sacrifice himself for them? _Oh, JJ._

"JJ, what the hell?" she asks him in horror. 

"I got this for you. Guys, look what I did for you! All right? Look at this! Look at this!" 

How could she have been so blind? How could she not have known? She's been so worried about John B, with his dad and CPS and the whole wild goose chase for gold, she's never even once thought about why JJ is the way he is. 

"JJ--" she tries to apologize. She tries to tell him something. Anything.

"No, you stop being emotional," he orders, even as his voice cracks and his face crumples. "It's fine, okay? I mean, it's sweet, right? Everything… Just get in!"

That breaks her. JJ, the strongest person she knows, the one who gets through everything with a smirk and a stupid comment, crying in front of her. She clambers over the lip of the hot tub in an instant, splashing over to him and hugging him, as tight as she can. 

They're only 16. _They're only 16._

  
"I just couldn't do it." he's sobbing into her shoulder and she tries to gather him up, to hold the pieces together. To convey everything in that hug. Her anger, that he hadn't told them, that she hadn't noticed. Her guilt, for all the times she's rolled her eyes at him, for ever thinking he's just some idiot. Her fear and regret and sorrow and her love and-- "I can't take him anymore!" a little hiccup, like he's a child, crying out his hurts. "I was gonna kill him."

_Oh, JJ._ She strokes the back of his head, trying her best to comfort him, his shuddering and shaking body.

"I just wanna do the right thing," he tells her, as Pope's arms wrap around the both of them and he's trembling too and-- 

"I know. I know," she tries to assure him. 

_They're only 16._

She's not sure how long they all stand in that hottub, JJ crying, Kiara trying to shush him, and Pope holding them all together. But she knows that eventually JJ straightens up, tries to put on a tough face like the last fifteen minutes haven't happened at all, and she can only stare at him with what is slowly becoming a boiling rage in her. 

JJ sees the look and freezes; Pope sees the look and scampers out. She doesn't have the words; they stick in her throat whenever she sees the bruises all over his torso. Is that one fist sized? Is that one boot sized? Are those scars there, that tells the story of just how long this has been going on? 

"Mama's mad?" the way he says it, as a question, very nearly gets her to smile. 

"Why?" she asks him instead, the only question that she can muster up. He tries to give her a crooked smile, shrug, play it off, but she catches his chin in her hand and forces him to look at her while she repeats herself. "JJ. Why?" 

"It don't matter, Kie," he says quietly. 

"You matter," she retorts hotly and he looks at her, those blue eyes appearing to dance with the light of the disco ball even though he is so, so serious. 

"I can handle it," he responds back lowly and she wants to tell him but he shouldn't have to and this is so fucked and _they're only 16_ but then he's clambering out of the hottub. "Besides, we get that gold up, I'm gone. I'll never see him again." 

Oh, he's never seeing his father again regardless, she promises herself that as he walks away. 

* * *

**The seventh time JJ makes Kiara mad**

"Pope, you clocked that car, man. Like, that was so bad!” JJ is laughing, the smoke from the weed filling the car. Kiara is still watching the road, in a bit of shock.

"I'm just glad I'm not driving now.” it’s the sight of Pope smoking that brings her back down to earth. That, and a surge of righteous anger at JJ. 

"Pull over,” she orders, and then braces herself as Pope nearly flips the car. She hears JJ’s little exclamation in the backseat and wants to throttle him. "JJ, it's not funny. He shouldn't be driving.” even when she slams the door, she hears him from the backseat, a little sheepish.

"Mama's mad.” 

Oh, she wants to kill him.

"What are you…” she watches as Pope clambers over the middle console while trying to take another pull from the joint.

"Where are we goin’?"

She doesn’t look at either of them when she answers. 

"The last place they're gonna look.”

The car ride is silent. Pope and JJ, for fear of more of her wrath, are quiet. She appreciates that. The smoke is thick, but only because JJ seems scared to roll down a window, like that's going to set her off even more. She should put them down and turn on the child lock, just to spite him. She should do something. 

Her heart is pounding. It won't stop. She can't think of anything other than her fear; not even her rage will cover it up. She's scared because John B - her John B, the same boy with the crooked smile and messy curls - has blood on his hands. He's running across this island, their home, and she has no idea if he'll be okay. If any of them will be okay. 

They stole from a drug dealer. They stole from a power and money hungry adult man who seems to have no problem killing for this gold. Fuck, Pope crashed her car! Out of all the things, the disappointment she's going to face from her mother and father over wrecking this car somehow overshadows the rest. Maybe because at 16 she shouldn't worry about murder. 

She's so mad at JJ and Pope. She's so scared for them. She's scared because Pope - her Pope, with his goofy jokes and sometimes annoyingly accurate observations - is smoking. He gave up his scholarship for what, this? For blood and weed and fear? It feels like he's giving up. And that terrifies her. 

She's scared because JJ - her JJ, with his easy, cocky confidence and beautiful, stupid, stubborn attitude - seems to be just as lost as she is. Beaten. Bruised. She doesn't understand how he is still standing. She doesn't understand why he seems ready to let it all go. 

She's scared for them. She's angry at them. She doesn't know what to do. 

But maybe Sarah does. And she has to try. 

* * *

**The one time JJ doesn't make Kiara mad**

They haven't been talking much lately. 

At first, they'd been numb. And in trouble. So much trouble. Kiara let her parents ground her, she didn't care. But she fought tooth and nail that JJ not go home. He could stay with them, in the spare bedroom, in the garage, wherever. But he was not going back to his father. After seeing the wild fear in her and Pope's eyes, Heyward relented. Now, JJ lives with Pope. 

She didn't see them the first couple days. Apparently, Heyward kept them to do cleanup from the storm, but he must've been talking with her dad, who was alarmed that she'd been spending hours of her day laying on her bed, weeping, silently. Then JJ and Pope showed up, under the guise of being loaned out by Heyward to help around the Wreck. 

They are together, but they don't talk. 

They don't talk about how they don't dare go back to the Chateau. They don't talk about how they stole from a drug dealer. They don't talk about how they sense Barry and Rafe's presence outside of the restaurant but they're kept at bay by flocks of tourists. They don't talk about JJ's court date and restitution. 

_(if she even thinks about that fucking hottub, she'll lose her shit.)_

They don't talk about how the community mourns, about the memorial that is held, about the empty platitudes their classmates post on social media that are so meaningless. They don't talk about how Ward Cameron doesn't say a word to them, still playing the image of a mourning father. They don't talk about how he got the gold. At what cost?

They also don't talk about the fact that she kissed Pope. That problem seems tiny compared to everything else right now. They don't talk about how he lost his scholarship and his hope for a life he always dreamed of. They don't talk about how JJ is an orphan, since his dad knows he took the Phantom. They don't talk about anything at all, anymore. 

They especially don't talk about John B or Sarah. They don't. 

"D'ya have any fives?" JJ asks and Pope glances over his cards again. 

"Nah, go fish." 

"Fuck." JJ reaches for more cards with an already full hand. 

Cards have become their thing lately. They will help close down the Wreck, wiping down tables and taking out the trash. Then they sit, usually with whatever leftovers remain from the day, and play cards. It helps keep everything normal, helps to avoid the rest. Everything they don't talk about. 

Kiara watches them, in the dim light, occasionally speaking and trading cards when she needs to. Otherwise she just watches and tries not to acknowledge the yawning ache in her chest that throbs at the sight of an empty fourth chair. 

"Hey Kie," Pope says, still inspecting his cards. "Do you want to come with us to the.... place, tomorrow?" 

"What?" she feels like she's been stabbed. "Go there? Why?" 

"Clothes," JJ mutters while Pope says, 

"My laptop." 

"No." she feels like she's going to have a panic attack. "No, no, guys, wait, no." 

"Kie." JJ fixes her with a stern look. "We have to go there, before the cops clean the whole place out. It's only a matter of time. We have to do it soon." 

"No, no." her mind is racing, her heart feels like the force of it's beats are going to crack her ribs. "Guys, no, wait. We can't." 

"You don't have to come," Pope tells her softly, trying to hold her hand, but she yanks it away and stands, trying to suck in deep breathes. She hasn't felt this way since freshman year. Fuck. 

"The cops can't do that." she's rambling. "They, they, they can't! They can't just go into his house!" 

"He was a suspect in a murder investigation. Of a sheriff," Pope reminds her and she runs her hands through her hair, pulling it up into a bun on the top of her head, trying not to flip out. "He is technically a missing persons, they can do whatever they want." 

"I'll stop them!" she cries and JJ pushes his chair back hard, scraping the floor, but when he comes to wrap her into a hug, he's surprisingly gentle. He lets her cry herself out on his shoulder, before stepping back and holding her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. 

"We have to go. Clean the place up. Make sure there's nothing there that makes us or John B look bad." his blue eyes search her face and she knows, there's beer bottles and ground out joints and so much else. JJ's right. He has a point. She nods, but can't seem to stop the rising fear seeping into her. 

They go the first thing in the morning. Pope and JJ come to collect her and they go, while the light is still hazy, hoping that this will attract the least amount of attention from those who might be watching them. She sits in the backseat, her throat feeling like it is closing up, and trying to breathe in and out, in and out, in and out....

When she sees the Chateau, it doesn't hurt as much as she thought it would. It seems like everything is normal, the same as it always has been, but now with a new feature. **(that fucking hottub.** ) So she gets out and follows the boys to the front door, where they let themselves in. 

It's the smell that knocks her to her knees. 

It smells like home and John B and stupid, half forgotten nights and her three best friends and the place where she belongs, where she's found herself over and over again. She sits in the doorway and cries, watching as Pope and JJ throw trash into garbage bags, throw clothes into a duffel bag, and essentially, ruin the only sanctuary that she's ever had of her own. 

She can't do this. She can't be in here, she can't watch Pope and JJ wall off their emotions and act like this isn't absolutely fucked when they're still just kids. She walks outside - past the hottub, and down to the dock. The HMS Pogue is still there, tied up, everything like it's ready for a day on the water. Like nothing has changed. 

She's not sure how long she sits there, watching the sunlight on the waves, feeling a sense of calm and peace overcoming her. She's felt so many emotions in the last couple days and weeks, that it is nice to have a moment to sit with them, acknowledge them. Maybe she should be doing more yoga. 

"KIE. KIE! KIARA, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" JJ's yells shatter her peace. She shoots to her feet, mind filled with visions of drug dealers on motorcycles coming to kill them, panicked and terrified. But it's just JJ, racing across the yard and down the dock, something waving in his hand. 

"What the hell?" she demands and then he has crashed into her, half hugging her, half lifting her off her feet, trying to dance all at the same time. "What the hell, JJ?" 

"Bahamas! Bahamas!" he keeps shouting the word, over and over again. "Bahamas! Bahamas!" 

"What did you smoke in there?" she asks him, now slightly worried. Then she realizes that he's referring to whatever he's waving and so she reaches up and plucks it from his hand, trying to read it while she ignores him whooping in the background. 

It's a postcard. From the Bahamas. White, sandy beaches, a clear blue sky, and a palm tree. One any tourist might send. On the back, a message that she reads three times, brow furrowed, not understanding any of it in the least. She looks at JJ, but he's still doing a weird, almost tribal style of dance, so she tries to read it, one more time. 

_**'Vlad and Val send their warmest greetings from the beautiful, sunny Bahamas! Our vacation started off stormy, but now the clouds have cleared. We look forward to finding our wealth and fortune here. Hope everyone is in good cheer there and is awaiting our golden return.'** _

"JJ, what is this?" she asks, frustrated. She'd just been feeling like she was coming to terms with all this. "It doesn't make any sense." 

"It's John B!" he shouts, an almost maniacal glint in his eye and she sighs, thinking that not so many months ago, she was trying to get John B to come to terms with his father's death. She can't do the same with JJ. 

"JJ, please, don't start concocting," she begs, her heart breaking. "I don't think I can...." 

"It's not concocting." he grabs her by the shoulders and shakes. "It's real Kie. Vlad and Val, that's what John B and Sarah called each other. The stormy start? They got through the storm, the clouds cleared! Finding wealth and fortune? A golden return? Being in the Bahamas, where Ward sent the gold? It all fits!" 

"But...." her mind is whirling. As much as she wants to deny it, portions of JJ's theory ring true. "But how.... To survive that storm? And make it to the Bahamas? They don't have their passports or anything." 

"Kie!" he grabs her face. "It doesn't fucking matter! He's alive! They're alive!" 

"I...." she stares down at the postcard then back at JJ, who she has never seen so happy in her entire life. He gives another whoop and then crashes his mouth to hers. She loses all sense of herself; belatedly does she remember to cling to the postcard, this flimsy proof that the worst thing in her entire life might not be true. 

The rest is just consumed with JJ. 

He tastes like smoke and whiskey (where did he even find that?) and saltwater and sweat and something else that she hadn't known was his, but somehow just is and he's got a hand in her hair and one around her waist and she feels like a lit fuse, sparking. No one has ever kissed her like this. Nothing has ever felt like this. 

As soon as it started, it's over and JJ is three steps away from her, rubbing the back of his head, sheepish and boyish all in one, biting his lip. She still can't think straight, not between whatever kind of kiss that was and the thought that maybe, just maybe, this is all going to be okay and have a happy ending after all. 

"Mama's mad," he whispers and she thinks yes, she is mad, mad that all her friends keep kissing her, and mad that John B and Sarah are so far away and mad that she's been left to suffer for so long and mad that all the adults in her life are idiots and that.... 

"JJ," she tries to start, but there are still no words. 

"I'm going to go help Pope," he tells her. "He's trying to figure out how to contact them." 

She watches him walk the dock back to the house, the tiniest bit of swagger in his step, and then she looks down at the postcard, still clutched inside her right hand. 

She's not mad at all. 

For the first time, everything feels.... Hopeful. 

Golden return, indeed. 

**Author's Note:**

> first go round at this lovely show. let me know thoughts friends.


End file.
